I do not claim that I can tell a story as it ought to be told. en de win' blow de lantern out, en de snow en sleet blow in his face en mos' choke him, en he start a-plowin' knee-deep toward home mos' dead, he so sk'yerd--en pooty soon he hear de voice agin, en (pause) it 'us comin AFTER him! Then the listener must be alert, for in many cases the teller will divert attention from that nub by dropping it in a carefully casual and indifferent way, with the pretense that he does not know it is a nub. But he can't remember it; so he gets all mixed up and wanders helplessly round and round, putting in tedious details that don't belong in the tale and only retard it; taking them out conscientiously and putting in others that are just as useless; making minor mistakes now and then and stopping to correct them and explain how he came to make them; remembering things which he forgot to put in in their proper place and going back to put them in there; stopping his narrative a good while in order to try to recall the name of the soldier that was hurt, and finally remembering that the soldier's name was not mentioned, and remarking placidly that the name is of no real importance, anyway --better, of course, if one knew it, but not essential, after all --and so on, and so on, and so on. Once 'pon a time dey wuz a momsus mean man, en he live 'way out in de prairie all 'lone by hisself, 'cep'n he had a wife. A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. . Very often, of course, the rambling and disjointed humorous story finishes with a nub, point, snapper, or whatever you like to call it. The art of telling a humorous story--understand, I mean by word of mouth, not print--was created in … Mark Twain. If the pause is too short the impressive point is passed, and the audience have had time to divine that a surprise is intended--and then you can't surprise them, of course. It is a dainty thing, and delicate, and also uncertain and treacherous; for it must be exactly the right length--no more and no less--or it fails of its purpose and makes trouble. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling; the comic story and the witty story upon the matter. Den he hear de latch, en he KNOW it's in de room! Den--den--he seem to feel someth'n' C-O-L-D, right down 'most agin his head! Huckleberry Finn. THE WOUNDED SOLDIER. Create a library and add your favorite stories. For instance, he would say eagerly, excitedly, "I once knew a man in New Zealand who hadn't a tooth in his head"--here his animation would die out; a silent, reflective pause would follow, then he would say dreamily, and as if to himself, "and yet that man could beat a drum better than any man I ever saw.". The pause is an exceedingly important feature in any kind of story, and a frequently recurring feature, too. A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, Some Learned Fables for Good Old Boys and Girls, Mark Twain's (Burlesque) Autobiography and First Romance, A True Story and the Recent Carnival of Crime, Punch, Brothers, Punch! The teller tells it in this way: In the course of a certain battle a soldier whose leg had been shot off appealed to another soldier who was hurrying by to carry him to the rear, informing him at the same time of the loss which he had sustained; whereupon the generous son of Mars, shouldering the unfortunate, proceeded to carry out his desire. In them, he describes his own writing style, attacks the idiocy of a fellow author, defends the virtue of a dead woman, and tries to protect ordinary citizens from insults by railroad conductors. En bimeby he hear (pause--awed, listening attitude)--pat--pat--pat HIT'S A-COMIN' UPSTAIRS! I do not claim that I can tell a story as it ought to be told. MENTAL TELEGRAPHY AGAIN . OH, my lan'!" But you MUST get the pause right; and you will find it the most troublesome and aggravating and uncertain thing you ever undertook. 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